Will Durst Will Durst, 5/23/2008 [Archive]

Top 20 Reasons Hillary Clinton Should Stay in the Race

Top 20 Reasons Hillary Clinton Should Stay in the Race

Raging Moderate, by Will Durst

Even though the dogged Hillary Clinton is being encouraged by friend and foe and pundit alike to drop out of the Democratic presidential primary, there is a contingent that thinks her best move is to dig in her heels and bite the hand off of anyone who tries to restrain her. Admittedly, that contingent is mostly made up of me and a couple other guys in the editorial cartoonist world.

But seriously, what the hell, she's come this far. Who quits within sight of the finishing line of a marathon? It's like climbing 890 steps of the Washington Monument, then turning around and going back down after the gun sounds. No. Walk the final three.

And in an attempt to nudge her steadfastness into calcifying unity, I've doubled your usual top-10 list, and come up with 20 reasons why the Junior Senator from New York should stick it out until the bitter end; and when I say bitter, I mean bitter. No need to thank me, I'm here to help. Although tips are always appreciated.

20. With the May Sweeps over, you and Barack are the only serial left on the air worth watching.

19. WWERD. What would Eleanor Roosevelt Do?

18. You're faster and you outweigh him. He wouldn't last three rounds in a ring.

17. What kind of message does throwing in the towel now send to America's youth?

16. If they want you out, let them try something. They'll soon find out it'll take more than a village.

15. Meteor showers. Lots and lots of meteor showers. One of which could strike Barack right in the head. At any time.

14. For posterity's sake. Or is it posterior's sake?

13. You going to waste all those months training for Denver's altitude?

12. Summer vacation coming and it's too expensive to go overseas.

11. Who knows? Maybe Puerto Rico will tap into a vast pool of undiscovered oil and get ratified as a state in time for the convention?

10. It's either this or you go home and listen to Bill bitch, bitch, bitch. 'I could have been First Gentleman' this. And 'I could have been Attorney General' that.

9. Grrrl Power!

8. What's that old saying: as go Montana and North Dakota, so goes the world?

7. Now, people can look at Chelsea and say, 'Well, it's easy to see which side of the family gave her stubbornness.'

6. You want that vice-presidential nod, you get it the old fashioned way: you earn it.

5. From now on, whenever people speak about the hardest-working woman in politics, they're talking about you, little lady.

4. For the healthy and nutritious road food.

3. Staying in the race guarantees your knitting circle will never call you a quitter.

2. Be honest: What else you got going on?

1. Spite. Just do it for spite.

Catch Will Durst at the San Francisco Punch Line May 23 or 24; 415.397.4337. Or at a read and sign at Books, Inc. in Mountain View, Calif. On the 28th.

Copyright© 2008 Will Durst, distributed by the Cagle Cartoons Inc. syndicate. Call Sales at (805) 969-2829 or e-mail sales@cagle.com. Will Durst is a political comedian who has performed around the world. He is a familiar pundit on television and radio. E-mail Will at durst@caglecartoons.com. Check out willandwillie.com for the latest podcast. Will Durst's book, 'The All American Sport of Bipartisan Bashing,' is available now from Amazon and better bookstores all over this great land of ours.

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