Will Durst Will Durst, 12/12/2017 [Archive]

Top 10 Comedic News Stories of 2017

Top 10 Comedic News Stories of 2017

Raging Moderate by Will Durst


Put down the nog. Let in the dog. Delay your spouse's jog. Buy a mask for the smog. Alert the press in Prague. Because the eagerly awaited list of Top Ten Comedic News Stories of the Year has finally arrived. It truly is... the most wonderful time of the year.

But first, a word of caution: these stories are not be confused with the Top Ten Legitimate News Stories of 2017. No. No. No. They are as dissimilar as Ruth Bader Ginsburg and strip poker. Like aluminum snow shovels and chocolate lava cakes. Oxblood wing-tips and tufted wrestling mats.

These are the events that most lent themselves to jocularity. The ones with a comedic angle. You will find no mention of snipers, Nazis, hurricanes, wildfires, terrorism, Democrats or sexual assaults. Those may have been major occurrences during the past year, but in terms of mockability, not a match. So, here they are: The Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2017.

10. SEAN SPICER. Donald Trump's proxy punching bag. I kept waiting for him to show up at a press briefing with his tie around his forehead and a knife clenched in his teeth sputtering "Who wants a piece of me?" He resigned in order to spend more time lying to his family.

9. SECRETARY OF STATE REX TILLERSON. He refuses to deny he called the president a moron, becoming the new hero of millions. Afterwards the president challenged him to an IQ test even though it is not a slam dunk he could spell IQ if you spotted him the I.

8. INAUGURATION. The 45th president called it the most well-attended inaugural in the history of ever, despite photographic evidence to the extreme contrary. I'm still amazed he put his hand on the Bible and it didn't burst into flames.

7. PRESIDENT FEUDS WITH NORTH KOREA. Imminent nuclear warfare is usually not that amusing. Hopefully this schoolyard tussle between two grown adolescents with weird hair and daddy issues is not the beginning of the sequel to Dr. Strangelove. Every day without a mushroom cloud has to be counted as a victory.

6. ANTHONY SCARAMUCCI. For 10 wonderful days, this train wreck with the name of a 16th commedia dell'arte villain spun out of control like a gyroscope through four magnetic fields on its path to a black hole.

5. RUSSIAN PROBES. Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III says the reason he keeps giving different answers to Congressional Committees is because he remembers more whenever he learns there is evidence.

4. DONALD TRUMP JR. The Fredo of the Trump Crime Family. He's going to make us an offer we can't understand.

3. SPECIAL PROSECUTOR. Robert Mueller was appointed in middle of May, which means in four short months, Donald Trump went from zero to Nixon.

2. PRESIDENT FEUDS WITH NFL. Tweeted 24 times about players not standing for national anthem and not once about the ongoing humanitarian crisis in Puerto Rico. That's leadership like two bottles of Jagermeister are dinner.

1. PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP. The man has single handedly done for political comedy what legalized marijuana did for Cheetos. George W Bush may have been a Wheel of Fortune president in a Jeopardy world, but Donald Trump looks to be more of a Chutes & Ladders kind of a guy.

---

Copyright2017, Will Durst, distributed by the Cagle Cartoons Inc. syndicate.

Will Durst is an award-winning, nationally acclaimed columnist, comic and former sod farmer in New Berlin, Wisconsin. For a calendar of personal appearances, including his new one-man show, "Durst Case Scenario," please visit willdurst.com.

Download Will Durst's color photo - Download Will Durst's black and white mug shot photo
Why not run a cartoon with the column? We recommend the cartoons below as a good compliment to Will Durst's topic.
Click on the thumbnail images to preview and download the cartoons.

Related Cartoons

Spicer Out
By: Steve Sack

July 24, 2017

Spicer Out
By: Steve Sack

July 24, 2017

White House Incidents
By: Rick McKee

August 2, 2017

White House Incidents
By: Rick McKee

August 2, 2017

Russia Probe Steamroller
By: Nate Beeler

December 4, 2017

Russia Probe Steamroller
By: Nate Beeler

December 4, 2017

Flynn Guilty Plea
By: Adam Zyglis

December 5, 2017

Flynn Guilty Plea
By: Adam Zyglis

December 5, 2017

GOP's Executive Suite
By: Christopher Weyant

December 7, 2017

Game of Trumps
By: Christopher Weyant

August 11, 2017

Game of Trumps
By: Christopher Weyant

August 7, 2017

GOP's Executive Suite
By: Christopher Weyant

December 7, 2017
   

We do not accept and will not review unsolicited submissions from cartoonists.
Sales & Information: (805) 969-2829 sales@cagle.com
Billing Information: (805) 969-2829billing@cagle.com
Technical Support: support@cagle.com

FREE cartoons for your website if you're already a paying print subscriber!
Artwork and columns are copyrighted by each creator. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized reproduction prohibited. [Privacy Policy]